THE PARENT’S ROLE As parents, we are our children’s first teachers and our homes their first classroom. Children first learn language, not by watching television, but by listening to us when we talk to them while cuddling or playing. As they get older, if we encourage them to speak and listen, and if we respond to what they have to say, their ability to use language expands. Benefits of Supporting Your Child’s Learning Studies show that when parents actively support their children’s learning, their children: • get better grades. • improve in their language achievement. • are more likely to graduate from secondary school and to go on to further education. • are better behaved and have a more positive attitude. • are more likely to expand in their intellectual development. • have better relationships with their parents. Alternatives Here are some alternatives to asking ‘How was school today?’ • Tell me about one thing that you learned at school today. • Tell me about the best thing that happened for you at school today? • Tell me about the toughest thing that happened for you at school today? When you are up to date on your child’s schoolwork, you can ask specific questions – e.g., ‘How is your Social Studies project coming along? What was your Math quiz like?’ Creating a Supportive Learning Environment at Home From birth to age 18, children will have spent only about 13 percent of their waking hours at school. This means that most of the remaining 87 percent is spent under the guidance of their parents. There are many things that parents can do to create the safe, secure, and stimulating environment children need in order to learn. Here are some guidelines: • Set high but reasonable expectations for your children and support them in meeting those expectations. • Support and encourage your children’s curiosity and desire to explore. • Assist your children’s efforts to master new skills. • Acknowledge all of their efforts. Share the excitement of your child’s projects and accomplishments in learning new skills. Remember to praise more than criticize. • Be specific in what you admire about their accomplishments. (Say, You kicked that ball really far! or Your essay is very well organized. rather than You did great!) • Provide a stimulating physical environment that includes music, books, games, crafts, and inspiration for creative play. • Encourage visits from other adults who enjoy children and encourage their learning. • Play games such as cards and board games with your children that promote a wide range of number and language skills. • Supervise the amount of television and the kinds of television programs your child watches. Watch shows with your child and discuss what ideas and values are being portrayed. • Help your children extend their general knowledge by visiting the outdoors and interesting places or events in the community, reading books, and watching and discussing educational television programs. • Promote your children’s language skills by talking with them and listening to them. Tell them stories and encourage them to tell you stories. Encourage them to discuss a movie or story. • Encourage reading as a hobby. • Use a bulletin board for family messages, interesting articles or pictures. • Try the “Word-A-Day” game. Select a word appropriate to the child’s age. See how many times a day the family can use the word correctly. • Encourage fun activities such as sports, performing arts, and scouting. • Select one meal a few times a week when your family has the opportunity to eat and talk together. • Provide quiet time spent together as a family, without outside distractions. Building Children’s Self-Esteem Self-esteem is an important factor in your child’s success at school and in life. As parents, we have a key role in building and sustaining our children’s self-esteem. Here are some suggestions: • Establish a Sense of Security. Let your child know what kind of behaviour you expect. Enforce your rules consistently in ways that build a sense of responsibility. Build feelings of trust. Help your child feel safe. • Build a Positive Self-Concept. Treat your child as an important person. Provide love and acceptance. Increase your child’s awareness of his strengths. Spend quality time with him. • Create a Sense of Belonging. Build close family relationships. Teach your child to be a group member. Encourage service to others. • Develop a Sense of Purpose. Have expectations for your child. Help your child set realistic goals. Demonstrate faith and confidence in your child. Expand your child’s interests and talents. Set up reward systems when he needs incentives. • Achieve a Sense of Personal Competence. Help your child develop a plan of action for his goals. Provide encouragement and support for his efforts. Listen and give him feedback about the progress he is making. Teach your child that when he is unsuccessful, he can learn from his mistakes. Take pride in and support him for trying new and challenging tasks. Provide him with chores at an early age. Chores help children accept responsibility and feel confident. Building Children’s Communication Skills The latest studies tell us that listening is a very large part of school learning. Between 50 and 75 percent of students’ classroom time is spent listening to the teacher, to other students, or to audio media. Because children have a deeper involvement with their parents than with any other adult, parents are the best people to build children’s communications skills. Here are some suggestions for improving communication with children: • Be interested. If you show that you are really interested in what they think and how they feel, your children will become comfortable expressing their thoughts with you. • Avoid dead-end questions that call for a yes, no, or one-word answer. Ask open-ended questions that will extend conversation, that will invite children to describe, explain or share ideas. For example, ask What did you like about the movie? rather than Did you like the movie? • Reflect your child’s words and ideas. Respond to her statements by asking a question that uses some of the words she used. When you use her own phrasing, you strengthen her confidence in her conversational skills and reassure her that her ideas are being listened to and valued. • Ask for your child’s opinion. For example, if you are puzzling over what to wear or where to place a new bookcase or what to make for dinner, ask her what she thinks. • Reflect feelings. Try to mirror your child’s feelings by repeating them – for example, It sounds as if you’re frustrated with your Math assignment. Paying attention to your child’s feelings is useful when she is experiencing strong emotions that she may not be fully aware of. • Help clarify and relate experiences. Using some of your child’s words is important and so is stating your child’s ideas and feelings in your own words. Your wider vocabulary can help her express herself more accurately and clearly, and can give her a deeper understanding of words and inner thoughts. Parents play a vital role in their children’s learning. The home is where students’ beliefs and habits originate, and the home provides the environment that either enhances or hinders students’ growth and development. Suggestions Here are some suggestions for open-ended discussion to extend your child’s learning and to make it more fun! • If he is having trouble with a Math problem, ask him, Where did you get stuck on this problem? or Where can we go to find the answer? • If he asks how to spell a word, say something like, There are six letters in this word. How many do you already know? • If you’re discussing a book your child is reading, ask him, If you were in this story, which character would you be? or Which of the characters would you like to have as your best friend? or if looking at a picture book, If you were hiding in this picture, where would you be? • If you’re in the car or at the dinner table with a group of children, give them a problem to solve. For example, What are the three most important inventions in the world so far? Why don’t you talk for three minutes and see which three you can agree on?